The hardest thing I've ever had to do...
...is tell you... "you smell like cheese."
That's funnier if you sing it... really.
...
My dad's 60th birthday is tomorrow. He's been overweight for as long as I've known him (and that's a long time). I was talking with him today and he mentioned he's on the Nutri-Sweet Diet. While I'm trying to figure out what a Nutri-Sweet diet would consist of he goes on to say that most of the meals are pretty good, but their scrambled eggs suck. PING! That's Nutrisystems diet, right dad? Oh, yeah, Nutri-SYSTEMS!
I love my dad. He has always had these little quirks like this where he's talking about something, but has the name slightly off so that at first you think he's talking about something else. But if you just keep listening you'll get enough clues to figure it out.
My mom has a similar problem, but her's is more to do with pronunciation. She has a terrible time with some brand names. Most recently was IKEA. The funny thing is that when I first told her about it, she repeated it back to me ok, but once I sent her to the web site and she saw it spelled out, she started mispronouncing it. But she got it straightened out. In fact, I think it's now one of her favorite stores.
They also just got a new puppy. A few years back they had a Shar-pei named Brenda. They really loved that dog. Brenda developed some kind of cancer and they ended up driving that dog to Dallas (150+ miles one way) several times for chemotherapy. I have no idea how much money and time they spent on that dog, but I'll bet it's more than most people would be willing to.
After Brenda died, they swore they wouldn't get another Shar-pei because it would remind them too much of Brenda. My dad was especially heart-broken when she died. However, a few weeks later, my mom called and asked me if I could drive up to Sherman to look at a puppy for her. So we ended up buying them a new Shar-pei puppy named Sima. That's not the puppy I'm talking about here.
So I'm talking with my mom a while back and she mentions that she's trying to find a plane to put the dog on.
...
Me: What dog?
Mom: Didn't I tell you we bought a dog?
Me: No.
Mom: Oh... We bought a dog.
Me: Why does the dog need to get on an airplane?
Mom: Because she's in Vancouver and it's too far to drive.
Me: The dog can drive?
Yeah. My mom bought a dog from another freakin country! Which is good because we don't have NEARLY enough dogs here already.
This particular puppy is a lilac Shar-pei. That's right, it's a purple dog! Ok, purple-ISH.
You know this dog wasn't cheap. Then consider the cost of flying a dog from Vancouver to Houston to Dallas and my parents driving their Ford Expedition (15 MPG) 300+ miles at $3 per gallon. That's $60+ on the gas alone!
Sigh. Anyway, the new puppy's name is Gabrielle (Gabby).
Me? I went to the North Richland Hills Animal Shelter, found a sweet little Schnauzer/Terrier mix and broght her home for $60 (plus her first vet visit - but that's another post).
That's funnier if you sing it... really.
...
My dad's 60th birthday is tomorrow. He's been overweight for as long as I've known him (and that's a long time). I was talking with him today and he mentioned he's on the Nutri-Sweet Diet. While I'm trying to figure out what a Nutri-Sweet diet would consist of he goes on to say that most of the meals are pretty good, but their scrambled eggs suck. PING! That's Nutrisystems diet, right dad? Oh, yeah, Nutri-SYSTEMS!
I love my dad. He has always had these little quirks like this where he's talking about something, but has the name slightly off so that at first you think he's talking about something else. But if you just keep listening you'll get enough clues to figure it out.
My mom has a similar problem, but her's is more to do with pronunciation. She has a terrible time with some brand names. Most recently was IKEA. The funny thing is that when I first told her about it, she repeated it back to me ok, but once I sent her to the web site and she saw it spelled out, she started mispronouncing it. But she got it straightened out. In fact, I think it's now one of her favorite stores.
They also just got a new puppy. A few years back they had a Shar-pei named Brenda. They really loved that dog. Brenda developed some kind of cancer and they ended up driving that dog to Dallas (150+ miles one way) several times for chemotherapy. I have no idea how much money and time they spent on that dog, but I'll bet it's more than most people would be willing to.
After Brenda died, they swore they wouldn't get another Shar-pei because it would remind them too much of Brenda. My dad was especially heart-broken when she died. However, a few weeks later, my mom called and asked me if I could drive up to Sherman to look at a puppy for her. So we ended up buying them a new Shar-pei puppy named Sima. That's not the puppy I'm talking about here.
So I'm talking with my mom a while back and she mentions that she's trying to find a plane to put the dog on.
...
Me: What dog?
Mom: Didn't I tell you we bought a dog?
Me: No.
Mom: Oh... We bought a dog.
Me: Why does the dog need to get on an airplane?
Mom: Because she's in Vancouver and it's too far to drive.
Me: The dog can drive?
Yeah. My mom bought a dog from another freakin country! Which is good because we don't have NEARLY enough dogs here already.
This particular puppy is a lilac Shar-pei. That's right, it's a purple dog! Ok, purple-ISH.
You know this dog wasn't cheap. Then consider the cost of flying a dog from Vancouver to Houston to Dallas and my parents driving their Ford Expedition (15 MPG) 300+ miles at $3 per gallon. That's $60+ on the gas alone!
Sigh. Anyway, the new puppy's name is Gabrielle (Gabby).
Me? I went to the North Richland Hills Animal Shelter, found a sweet little Schnauzer/Terrier mix and broght her home for $60 (plus her first vet visit - but that's another post).
posted by Rick at 1:56 PM
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