Sometimes I feel I've got to * * run away...

I really don't want to be like other people. More specifically, I don't want to treat other people like they treat me.

I like to think that I'm better than other people. Not in a way that means that I'm entitled to something more than them but better in the way I act.

Other people seem to think that the world revolves around them. They seem to think that they are somehow entitled (probably by some creator) to get special treatment. They seem to think that the rules simply do not apply to them but are instead meant to keep everyone else out of their way while they perform their smash and grab maneuver.

I try to treat people fairly. Now, granted, if someone is obviously in the smash and grab mode I will try to perform a subtle blocking maneuver. And let them know that I see what they are doing and am taking steps so that they do not get away with it.

But enough is enough. I often feel like the guy who holds open a door for someone only to find myself standing there holding the door while hordes of people pour through like it's my job to stand there and hold the door for them. Then, when I decide that this silliness has gone on long enough and try to duck through the door myself I am looked at as being rude.

Let's take an example:

If I approach a checkout counter and there are people standing nearby and I'm not sure if they are in line or not, I'll either assume their are in line and stand behind them or I'll ask them if they are in line. Other people, however, do not seem to share this philosophy. In fact, it has been demonstrated to me that even though I am standing in the taped out lines on the floor at the Sears store, other people (specifically an old black cunt) will walk right around me and stand way to close to the guy in front of me and then claim that she didn't think that I was in line when I point out that I was there first. She then tells me that I need to RESPECT her even though she obviously doesn't respect me. She also tells me that I need to know MY PLACE. Apparently MY PLACE is somewhere below this malodorous bitch. When I voice this to her (which I did) she comes back immediately with (and I'm not making this up), "well I don't cuss, but if I'm a bitch, you must be a bastard." She then follows that up shortly by calling me a "white motherfucker." Ah, to be an old black hypocrite bitch with delusions of adequacy. Meanwhile, the little piss-ant clerk is STILL processing her transaction! Not that I can really blame him. He was probably tired of smelling her rotten old cunt and was desperate to get her out of the store as quickly as possible.

When she left (after a few more choice words) he said, "sorry about that." Like that's supposed to make it all better. I said, "sorry my ass. You knew that I was in line here long before she was, but you went right ahead and served her first." He mumbled something which made it clear that had previously locked his balls in the cash drawer and had absolutely no clue how to open the bloody thing to retrieve them.

So after all this, I'm pissed off. This is yet another example of other people getting their way at my expense. Should I just go around treating other people like they treat me? Take what I want, give them the finger and walk away like I've got every right in the world to just do as I damn well please? Do I act like my brother and pull out in front of people because (as he puts it) "every car comes equipped with brakes?" Should I be taking advantage of people and screwing them over for my own benefit?

What's the point of sending my daughter to "ethical education" and teaching her to treat people right if every other motherfucker out there is learning to walk all over her and treat her like shit? The end result that they'll get ahead at her expense just like they've done to me my whole life. Being an atheist, I can't exactly say that there will be a reward in heaven or some other bullshit.

I am seriously reminded of the Blackadder's Christmas Carol. Blackadder is the nicest guy in town at the beginning of the story but everyone walks all over him. Then one of the ghosts of Christmas unwittingly shows him that if he keeps being nice to people, his descendants will be lackeys and servants. However if he starts treating people badly (like they so richly deserve) his descendants will rule the galaxy.

Of course this could just be one more thing that I'm blowing completely out of proportion.